Versace – Alice in Wonderland-inspired Shoes

You put Tim Burton in a room with his common-law wife, Helena Bonham Carter and their good friend Johnny Depp, and what they will come up with is enough to inspire any designer. So it only makes sense that Donatella Versace would hitch her wagon to the Alice in Wonderland train.

No one is going to even attempt to dispute the fact that Lewis Carroll was a psychadelic dude. And these Versace runway heels do the story justice. Crazy high platforms, wild colors and patterns, they’re everything I usually hate about shoes and yet I want a pair. While it would probably take me a few months to complete the proper training required to walk any reasonable distance in these heels, I could so see myself wearing them with a plain black dress to a cocktail party or some similar event.

So what do you say, down the rabbit hole to catch a pair of these Versace heels?

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Nine West – Dive In Pumps

While some people probably only know Molly Ringwald from ABC Family show The Secret Life of the American Teenager, to me she will always be Andie Walsh from the 1986 hit Pretty in Pink. I love that movie. So. Much.

But okay, relevance? These Nine West for Nordstroms heels look like the popped straight out of Molly’s wardrobe from the film. Pink, obviously, but also closed-toed, patent-leather, and chic. Actually, according to Nordstroms, it’s “liquid-shine patent is crafted into a beautifully bare pump with a slender ankle strap and tapered heel.” Ok then someone’s a little excited about the shoe (that someone is me, clearly). I usually don’t like owning things that other people own, just because I like being my own person, but I would do a lot of things to get a pair of these.

If you wear these shoes, someone is sure to walk up to you and say “this is a really volcanic ensemble you’re wearing, it’s really marvelous!”

Gladiators

While it’s gross and rainy outside, shoe designers across the globe are revealing their summer designs. I’d like to take this opportunity to share my feelings on gladiators, a popular summer shoe.

So raise your hand if you’re Greek. A few hands, that’s fair. I’m not Greek, but I certainly have friends who are. Raise your hand if you are Roman. Alright, I’ll bite. Ok, one more. Do you know what a gladiator is? I wikipediaed (yeah that’s a verb) it: “Gladiator: an armed combatant who entertained audiences in the Roman Republic and Roman Empire in violent confrontations with other gladiators, wild animals, and condemned criminals.”

So tell me, honestly, do you think that burley men who fought lions and such (I’m thinking of Russell Crowe in the 2000 Blockbuster Gladiator) would really wear these shoes? Ok maybe you do, I respect that. But let me post just one more question: if burley men like Russell Crowe wore these shoes to fight lions and stuff, why do you want to wear them?

As far as gladiators are concerned, I’m not exactly the biggest of fans – but hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Yves Saint Laurent – Caged Platform Sandal

Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. Keep those words close to your heart, for there’s nothing quite so miraculous as a life-changing experience – provided it is a positive one. And likewise, there is nothing quite so miraculous as a pair of shoes – provided they are stunning creatures of the imagination, likes these Yves Saint Laurent sandals.

Now I know that today isn’t really the appropriate day for wearing these YSL platforms – not with the flooding that’s going on outside. But they’re gorgeous nonetheless, don’t even pretend to disagree. I’ve got to say though, and no offence to Yves Saint Laurent, but I would like the shoe a lot better if the black detailed trim was white. Just saying…

Before I run off to a meeting, just promise me one thing: you won’t go leaving one of these sandals on some castle steps, I don’t care how cute the guy is.

Dries van Noten – Red Boots

The New York Times described Dries van Noten as “one of fashion’s most cerebral designers.” I have to agree. While I can assure you that you will never find me strutting my stuff in these heeled boots, it isn’t because I don’t like them but because heeled boots have always been a challenge for me. But I have to say that I can’t get the image of a modern-day Dorothy walking down the yellow-brick sidewalk of Manhattan in a modern take on the classic Wizard of Oz wearing these boots. Are you with me?

The red leather is so luscious I just want to reach through my screen and pet it. And the slight seam across the toes adds a dainty touch to the boot. So while you’re gazing at these boots, longing for them to comfort your feet and add spice to your outfit, occupy your time with this tongue twister (try saying it ten times fast): red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather…

Sole Sensations – Spaghetti Stiletto

No they’re not real spaghetti, so wipe that drool off of your face and go get a burger. Yes they’re actually wearable shoes. Maybe you can wear them to an Italian wedding? Bad joke. But all jokes aside for a minute, these are fabulous. Delicious in all senses of the word. Have a listen to what the designer himself says (about his work in general, not these stilettos specifically):

Having been described as a Multi-dimensional artist and designer. I have been developing my 2D and 3D creative desires for the past 30 years. My education and professional work experience has developed in: Boston, New York City, LA and now warm sunny South Florida.

With a degree in Graphic Design and a very unique look at life, I have enjoyed expressing my creativity not only in graphics, but window display, costume, prop design and production, for Mattel Toys, MTV, Nickelodeon, Macy’s, Gibson Guitar or Red Bull to name a few, I give a unique twist to whatever comes my way..

It is with all this previous creative experience that I now bring to the table my most recent and extensive work of Fantasy shoe sculptures.

That leaves me with just one thing to say:

On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.
It rolled in the garden and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.
The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.
The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.
So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don’t ever sneeze.

Lela Rose – Hampton Woven Bow Pump

I have been missing in action for a while now. So, I want to start off this post with an explanation and an apology for my absence. Those of you who know me personally know that I am addicted to technology; I never go anywhere without my laptop, ipod, or blackberry, and most often with more than one of the three. So imagine my mood when the hard drive on my laptop crashed and I was forced to stop using it until a new one was sent to me. Yes. I was mad enough I could punch a baby. That was inappropriate, I’m sorry. But the point of this rant is this: I could not write any posts for a while because I had no computer. So I hope you will start reading again.

And now for the shoe: I was flipping through the latest 530-page issue of Vogue (with Tina Fey on the cover) and I came across an ad for the above shoe. I was intrigued on so many levels. First, I love the woven print and the navy bow. Second, Lela Rose designed these shoes for Payless, meaning they’re on the less-expensive side of the fence (and less expensive than Lela Rose shoes would be if she just straight-out designed shoes, which she does not).

The shoe is the perfect pretty splurge, like my monthly subscription to Vogue.