Bruno Magli – Farfara

Look here for a slightly more sophisticated shoe. Not so sophisticated as to be tossed away with the wind and never worn. Don’t even think that, not even for a minute. These wedges, while sophisticated, are also adorable, and practical. The wedge gives you a little extra lift for those that are feeling a little on the short side of life. The peep-toe is appropriate for the winter, but also for the summer. The dark-but-not-quite-black color makes the shoe great for both day-time and night-time. (SO MANY HYPHENS!)

So who is the Bruno Magli? Cause to be honest, he isn’t a designer that I keep on my radar. Well apparently, by that statement I have just given myself an age, for had I been alive during the OJ Simpson murder trial, I would have known the name quite well. Straight from Wikipedia, since sometimes other people word things better than I can:

Bruno Magli shoes were in the spotlight during the O.J. Simpson murder trial. On June 19, 1995, FBI expert William Bodziak testified that the famous bloody shoe prints at the scene of the double murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman had been left by a size-12 pair of $230 Bruno Magli shoes (“Lorenzo” model). Simpson called the Brunos “ugly ass” shoes while denying he ever owned them. Photos were later shown to the jury of Simpson at a September 1993 football game, wearing shoes positively identified by Bodziak as size 12, Lorenzo-style Bruno Maglis. The actual shoes used during the crime have not been recovered.

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Footzyrolls

I love shoes. There really is no doubt about it. And I really do love high heels. However, when a reader of this very blog recommended I check out Footzyrolls, I thought to myself, now there’s a clever idea.

So what is it? It’s a shoe that rolls up to a teeny-tiny size, small enough that it can fit into your brand new cute clutch that you have been day-dreaming about bringing out to a party this weekend since Monday. This way, you can wear the five-inch heels you adore to the party, and if your feet start to numb from the pain, you can slide them off and put on these bad boys.

They come in lots of different colors, so you can easily find a pair to match whatever you are wearing.

My only question is, what are you supposed to do with your heels after you take them off?

Nicholas Kirkwood – Rodarte Corroded Brass Pumps

Nicholas Kirkwood reins from the other side of the pond. And while England isn’t really that far away, his shoes, on the other hand, are from another world entirely. For those of you who find yourselves unfamiliar with the name Nicholas Kirkwood and the shoes that accompany the name, all you need to know is that he’s 28, ruggedly handsome, from London, and a shoe designer who is known to have collaborated with designers such as ChloĆ©, Rodarte and Phillip Lim, and is now the creative director for accessories at Pollini. (And if you’re dying to learn more look no further.)

But as much as I just want to love him and his shoes, I can’t compromise my standards. And I hope NK will still love me. But really? Today seems to be the day of bad shoe picks from yours truly, and I’m sorry about that, but this shoe is just plainly from another stratosphere. It’s the shoe that Susan Sarandon should have worn at the end of Enchanted. It’s frightening. It’s gruesome. It’s TOO PAINFUL TO LOOK AT. And on top of that, I would not at all feel safe in a pair like these. They look perilous, trecherous, and just flat out dangerous. So run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, and preferably in a pair of running sneakers.

Pierre Hardy – Peep Bootie

So many things spiraling through my brain. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE BOOTS? They’re Frankensteinian boots. They’re like the love child of two beautiful pairs of totally different shoes: and they’ve acquired everything extravagant about each pair. Goodness they’re awful. The heel, for starters, is way too thick to not be the main focus of the shoe. Then, the boots have these straight-laced laces which are just too much enclosure for such a dark shoe. And wait, to top it all off, they’re peep-toes! Why, God, WHY? It’s like Pierre Hardy said, “I want to cover the whole shoe so it can’t breathe, but we’re going to tease it and trick it and let the big toe peek out and get some fresh air while everyone else is suffocating.”

Less is more, Pierre Hardy, less is more.

Steve Madden – Caslow

While Steve Madden himself doesn’t run Steve Madden Ltd. anymore ever since he was convicted of stock manipulation and thrown in the slammer, his shoes somehow continue to get produced and most of them are cuties. However, just because Elvis wore blue suede shoes, that doesn’t give anyone else the right to wear them. Especially this Steve Madden boot. I mean, really Steve Madden? Really? These look like part of a Halloween costume. They’re like suede Super Woman boots, or shoes you might wear if you wanted to be a blueberry for a fruit-themed costume party.

Ok let’s lay out the facts on these bad boys. Suede upper-body. Leather sole. 12.5 boot height and a .5 inch heel. But all these facts and figures combined don’t add up to a beautiful shoe.

Dolce Vita – Pela Criss Cross Wedge

You know how there are certain shoes that you love and you can wear because they’re adorable but not too wacky? And then there are shoes that are adorable and you love them but they’re far to wild and out-there for you to possibly pull off? These shoes, for me at least, are of the latter section.

Dolce Vita has hit another home-run here with the Pela Criss Cross Wedge. While the brown leather makes the shoe a little more approachable, I would be a horrible blogger if I didn’t aware you of the fact that these sandals also come in grey and pink. hot. pink. And while it’s an awesome shoe in any color, for fear of stating the obvious, I am particularly fond of the brown version shown above. With a 1/2-inch platform and a 3 3/4-inch heel, you can tower over everyone as you flaunt these comfortable Dolce Vitas, if you’re daring enough to wear them.

Cole Haan – Air Andi Flat

You may or may not know that Cole Haan is owned by Nike. Well, not Trafton Cole and Eddie Haan themselves, since that was made illegal by the passage of the 13th Amendment, which was ratified in 1865 following the end of the Civil War. Nonetheless, the relationship between Nike and Cole Haan isn’t just a parent-child one. Cole Haan shoes now use Nike Air technology. WHAT? Yes. I actually own a pair of Cole Haan shoes and I can attest to the fact that the combo is stellar.

How does it work? There are these little bubble Nike Air thingies (that’s the technical term) inside the toe area of Cole Haan shoes, making walking in them just heavenly. The Andi Flat uses this technology. So if the shoe wasn’t cute enough on it’s own (which is a ridiculous though given their adorable point and simple gold exterior), the shoe just upped the ante with this technology.

So it’s safe to say that Dorothy needed these slippers given how much walking she did on the yellow brick road.